For my friends who I left behind back home.

One last thing before I go. I...I'm feeling a little...sad. It's like, everyone, everything...they're all fading away again. Just like four years ago. I don't want to be alone. I don't...want to. I really don't. But I...

It's funny really.

I wanted two very different things. I wished, even though it's kind of mean of me, but I wished that...I could start over again. That sins would be forgiven. That I could simply get over the people and the places and things that I loved if I moved away. I want to forget but I keep remembering everything. Everyone. All those places.

I can just sit in my room and everything and everyone...comes flooding in though my mind. Just like tears.

I miss..the lake. I miss even the school and town. And even though...when I sat at home, it felt like no one was real cause I couldn't see them. At least I knew that...they were all just a half an hour away. Sitting at home. Happy, Sad, whatever it was they were feeling. But now...everyone's...

I'm...so alone. And I wished for this. So I'm happy...too.

I was sitting in a coffee shop when I saw a man named Charles. He'd been waiting for me. To talk to me. And we talked. I don't think...I ever talk so much before. I felt...happy. For the first time...in a really long time. In four years... But...

One last thing before I go.

I am sorry. I'm sorry for wanting to get rid of everything, everyone. So please forgive me. I am...not the same person anymore. And now...even if I wanted to come back. I can't because...I'm not me anymore, and there are things that the person I am now needs to do. So please forgive me. Forgive me for not crying the last time I saw any of you. Everyone and everything.

Forgive me for not telling any of you how much you all mean to me. I loved all of you...so much. So much. You were all so...you all meant so much to me.

I'm glad that I'm not writing this down or...the paper...would get all soaked.